If there’s one thing that students and higher ed professionals everywhere have adored about the past year, it’s getting to spend more time in sweatpants.

If there’s a second thing, it’s lying to ourselves about being capable of caring for houseplants just to enhance our Zoom backgrounds.

But the one you’re probably thinking of most is…  asynchronous programming — AKA on-demand events. Being able to sleep, study, or order a sourdough starter while the program originally happens, then go back to watch it later has created a welcome boost to virtual student engagement!

In an uncertain, unprecedented, indescribable year of navigating uncharted waters, students have appreciated having this added control over their co-curricular calendars. And student affairs professionals enjoy squashing students’ excuses of “I can’t make it then!” (It’s on-demand, Chaz. You can literally make it any time.)

But now, as campuses begin to open up again and we all put pants back on, asynchronous content is at-risk of going away. #SaveOurAsync. 

So, what’s a campus to do? We here at Presence know what you’re thinking: There’s gotta be a better way.

…And now, there is!

Introducing: On-Demand — The in-real-life programming replay solution for students to attend events when it’s convenient for them. Or IRLPRSFSTAEWICFT for short.

We’re bringing the best part of virtual engagement to the real world.

Remember TiVo or, depending on your age, VCRs? Those delightful tools allowed you to experience live television shows whenever the heck you — or your obnoxious little brother — wanted. Well, IRLPRSFSTAEWICFT is just like that, but for live events planned by you, your student leaders, or a well-intentioned philosophy professor who really thinks that at least 200 students will show up to a Friday evening discussion on Aristotle. (Aww, Professor Chaz, bless your heart.)

Here’s how it works:

• You host an awesome event. You offer an incentive no one has ever thought to offer before: Free pizza (perhaps even with toppings, such as pineapple) and start off with your favorite, low-stakes icebreaker question of “What was your most embarrassing moment?”
• You record the entire event using the IRLPRSFSTAEWICFT recorder feature inside Presence — audio, video, smell-o-vision, the works.
• Students will instantly be able to find the event in your mobile engagement portal, hit play, and WHAMBAM!, before you can say “committee,” the event will be instantly merged into their time, where they’ll now be part of the event as it happened — with all the original people, activities, and, most importantly, learning outcomes.

It won’t merely be like they’re at the event. No, no, no, my sweet, experiential learning educator who just hit Chickering’s 7th development vector; They will literally be there — rocking their wide-legged sweatpants, center-parted hairstyles, and all. They’ll be able to hear the motivational speakers, taste the tomato-sauce-covered pineapple, share their best two truths and a lie, and even shake hands with their peers.*

*assuming you have hand sanitizer nearby — because, c’mon, that’s a good practice that should continue long after COVID

We’re also working on rolling out a few bonus features to complement IRLPRSFSTAEWICFT, including:

Paper-Based Printed Catalogs (PBPC):

Our campus partners have long told us how much they love our digital catalogs for virtual events, so we came up with a game-changing idea: Catalogs that are printed on paper. We’re talking words …on paper … stapled together… to more paper. It’s the start of an analog revolution, and you’ll have access to it here first!

Oh and btw, y’all, from here on out, we’re only allowing virtual events to be listed physically on giant cork boards. We call it: Innovation.

Manual Humanized Roll Call Tracking (MHRCT):

We’ve offered mobile check-in technology from Presence’s very start, and in 2020, we introduced virtual event tracking via integrations with Zoom and Microsoft Teams. Now in 2021, we’re breaking the industry yet again with… roll call tracking!

We’ll send either Morgan Freeman or an employee from your local DMV to your events to call out every single students’ name, one by one. That’s right — even if you have tens of thousands of enrolled students, they’ll patiently drawl out every. single. one. They’ll even pronounce at least 64% of the names correctly, guaranteed.

Instant Gamified Gamification — Inspired by Gaming! (IGGIG):

Our traditional gamification tools allow you to award students points, guide them through customized co-curricular pathways, and measure their progress toward skills attainment. And now, exclusively through IRLPRSFSTAEWICFT, we’re inviting our campus partners to level up their gamification techniques by awarding prizes instantaneously.

For example, when a student displays grit, perseverance, or an advanced understanding of love languages, your school’s branded fanny pack can instantly appear around their waist. Or when an org president asserts their need for self-care, you can send a branded bathrobe or fidget spinner right to their dorm residence hall! Got too many face masks to handle? Make it rain N95s like a balloon drop, baby!

One-Click Clothes Changer-Upper (OCCCU):

No matter what a student is actually wearing when they click play, our changer-upper will make it appear like they’re dressed to the nines. Goodbye Costco pajama set; Hello university hoodie, tuxedo, cocktail dress, or authentic Spider-Man suit worn by Tom Holland in Spider-Man: Far From Home — the possibilities are literally endless!

Say goodbye to FOMO.

With IRLPRSFSTAEWICFT, students will never have to miss a program again because they were “busy studying,” playing PS5, researching clearance air fryers, or “thinking about getting into The Crown.”

So what are you waiting for? Fax us, beep us, or “accidentally” send us 12% of your student loan savings to learn about IRLPRSFSTAEWICFT today. Say the magic words — “I hope this email finds you well” — for half off.

IRLPRSFSTAEWICFT: It’s not time travel; It’s student engagement.™ 

“Sure, we could have just invented regular ole time travel like in Back to The Future or a dream I had last night, but getting to mingle with dinosaurs or meet your great-great-great grandkids seems weak compared to karaoke in the dining hall and frisbee on the quad.” — Reuben Pressman, Presence CEO & Founder (CEOAF)